Call Out Their Names

This Memorial Day Tribute is dedicated to the remembrance of every soldier who made the ultimate sacrifice for our freedom, with special recognition to the heroes of US Army 3rd Special Forces Group.  Say a prayer for this line of friends, and for their brothers who say it seems like it will never end. 

 "Call out our names as the years go by. Remember us, and we will never die."

Walk of Heroes for 3rd Special Forces Group, Ft. Bragg, NC - every soldier from 3rd Group who has died in this war has a stone in this place. 

I hopped into the truck with my normal full throttle enthusiasm.  Frequent deployments make you keenly aware of little moments and memories that come together to create life. 

Lunch dates are important.  There are gazes and glances, touches and smiles, laughter and entwined fingers, brushes of lips and conversations that range from flippant nonsense to spiritual contemplation.  They are filled with connectedness and joy.  There is a lot of happiness in the togetherness.

Today, however, the pain in his eyes struck me immediately.  The joy halted.  The cheerfulness transformed instantly into a still, cool pause.  There were no tears, but the anguish was deep and penetrated his soul.  I took his hand in mine and leaned closer to ask, "What's wrong?"

He tried weakly to muster a smile. It didn't work out very well.  He looked away out the window,  then looked back at me for an instant, then closed his eyes and looked down.  He spoke softly and slowly with measured words, and I knew he was struggling to keep his composure. It's just been a rough morning he stated quietly.  I knew him well, and
immediately translated the term "rough" to encompass the desolate, wrenching, painful emptiness I saw.  As a career soldier, he was an expert in nonchalance.  Nothing ever seemed to really agitate him, and any turmoil around him simply played out as a backdrop to his ordered, sensible decisiveness. He viewed challenge as an invitation, and his serious, thoughtful reflection often masked his passion and his busy mind. 

I wrapped his hands in mine and leaned closer into his "space," but sat quietly.  I could sense he wasn't ready for intrusive questions.  He squinted his eyes tightly closed, and I watch the muscles in his face tense, tighten, grimace, and tense again.  He regained the stalwart soldier expression, then looked at me silently and sighed deeply.  "We had a final roll call today," he explained, "and it was hard."

He knew from the expression on my face that I didn't understand, so he continued, quietly, with carefully chosen words, to explain.  "It's a program, a memorial ceremony that we do when one of us doesn't make it home.

We call everyone's name the same way it would be done in a regular roll call.  It's always done as a unit, and everyone has to answer that they are present or here. The last name called is his. 

When we get to his name, we call it out with rank and last name, and of course, there would be no answer. So, we stand in for him. We call it out again with rank, first name, and last name, and of course, there is still no response, so we stand in for him again. 

We then make the final call using rank, first, middle, and last name.

I did the final stand in."

I felt the tears that had been welling up in my eyes start to overflow and spill down my cheeks.

He continued to explain.  "They fire volleys and play taps.  There's usually a display of boots with a rifle stuck in the ground between them and a helmet resting on top, and his picture is there." 

He leaned his head back, and held his hand over his eyes for the final part of the explanation.  "We do it because we make a promise to each other that all unit members will be accounted for, and none will ever be forgotten."

My tears continued to pour, and the silent heaving sobs seemed linked to the emotional waves he was enduring as he relived the event while finishing the explanation. He wrapped his arms around me tightly, and we simply held each other close, the silent rage and pent up anger of loss curiously juxtaposed aside gratefulness for life. 

He could just have easily been the one remembered, as the one doing the remembrance.  It is a bittersweet state of being. 

For all of you who answered the call to fight for our freedom, for our lives, for our pursuit of happiness, on this Memorial Day, we remember that freedom is never free, and we join you in remembering those who gave all to secure the freedom of this nation.  

Retired Lt. Gen. Mark Hertling, of CNN fame and Army service demonstrates his soldier's heart and leadership by this daily action:   

"There's a wooden cigar box on my desk that holds cards with the photographs of 253 soldiers, sailors, airmen, allies and civilians who served and made the ultimate sacrifice under my command in combat. They epitomize America's best, and their pictures represent the kind of people we all should aspire to be.  When I open the box every day, I pick a few of those pictures and pray for their families -- their wives, husbands, children, parents, loved ones." 

He also advises that Americans need to "Earn Our Fallen Soldiers' Sacrifices."  He is absolutely right.  When we are struggling or going through difficult times or moments, we must never forget that these strong vibrant soldiers gave everything they had to protect our opportunities and way of life.  Are we using our time and energy to make a better world?  Can we do better?

His Memorial Day speech at Margraten, The Netherlands, again drives home the importance of remembrance, sacrifice, and honor.  

He reminds us of the 8,301 young American men who lay in Margraten Cemetery.

He shares the story of an elderly man who visited the grave of an American soldier every week for a 40 year period.  Since December 1944, the people of Margraten have taken it upon themselves to to honor each American grave, and as he explains, "Their only connection to the soldiers buried there is an eternal gratitude for their freedom."

Let us as Americans demonstrate the same gratefulness and reverence in honoring our fallen heroes.

Tee Marie Hanible, whom you might recognize from the Fox show American Grit, is a decorated Marine Gunnery Sergeant who graciously reminds us that there are differences in military holidays, and that Memorial Day is particularly significant and poignant.

She explains:

"This weekend is for our friends, our brothers and sisters who paid the ultimate sacrifice and gave their lives in the cause of freedom.  When you thank us, as sincere as it is, it reminds us that we came home, while they did not. Somehow, for us, it lessens the solemnity of the day and heightens our survivor guilt.  We appreciate your gratitude. We are embarrassed by it, but we appreciate it. But please, please, this weekend, remember it is not about service, it is about sacrifice. And while willing, we did not make that sacrifice. .  "

The recurring theme? Sacrifice and service.  Those who served, or still serve, strive to make sure those who gave everything are given the honor they deserve.  She also mentions a soldier by name and sends a prayer out for his family. 

Let's remember them.  Let's tell their stories.  Let's explain to our children and their children that we are allowed to have opinions and voice them, pursue what makes us happy, and live freely because of the selfless sacrifice by these brave men and women.  Let's never forget.  Let's honor them by remembering them aloud and calling their names. 

         "Call out their names as the years go by and remember them and they shall never die."

USASFC - 3rd SFG (A) Fallen Heroes

Staff Sgt. Martin R. Apolinar
CW2 Stanley Harriman
CW2 Bruce E. Price
Staff Sgt. Jeremy E. Bessa
Capt. Jason E. Holbrook
Sgt. Nicholas A. Robertson
Master Sgt. Benjamin F. Bitner
Master Sgt. David L. Hurt
Capt. Joseph W. Schultz
Sgt. Aaron J. Blasjo
Sgt. 1st Class Mitchell A. Lane
Staff Sgt. Marc J. Small
Sgt. 1st Class William R. Brown
Staff Sgt. Robert J. Miller
Sgt. 1st Class Riley Stephens
Capt. Jeremy Chandler
Sgt. 1st Class Robert J. Mogensen
Staff Sgt. Paul A. Sweeney
Staff Sgt. Kyu H. Chay
Staff Sgt. William R. Neil, Jr.
Sgt. 1st Class John E. Taylor
CW2 Scott Dyer
Sgt. 1st Class Tun M. Nguyen
Capt. David J. Thompson
Capt. Daniel W. Eggers
Sgt. 1st Class James S. Ochsner
Master Sgt. Gregory R. Trent
Staff Sgt. Brandon F. Eggleston
Staff Sgt. Tony B. Olaes
Sgt. 1st Class Peter P. Tycz
Staff Sgt. Christopher M. Falkel
Sgt. Jason Palmerton
Staff Sgt. Kyle R. Warren
Staff Sgt. Robeert S. Goodwin
Staff Sgt. Brandon R. Pepper
Master Sgt. Anthony Yost

                 

The video below may seem out of place to some who wonder how I can include a song about fried chicken and Friday nights in a serious, emotional post.  This is where the part about really knowing a soldier comes in.  These guys took a stand. They gave their all to defend the American way of life. God, freedom, country, family and friends meant something to them.  They wanted us to live.  They protected us with everything they had.  This song brings back memories of one of the happiest times of my life.  The men listed here made it, and countless other wonderful moments across America possible because of their sacrifice. 

Celebrate.  Rejoice. Vote.  Be somebody who gives something back to this country and the world.  That's the American way that they loved.  That's the American way that they died to protect.

  In the words of Zac Brown Band...Salute the ones who died, the ones who give their lives, so we don't have to sacrifice all the things we love...